


Monster Spotting

by shewhoguards



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Genre: Gen, Halloween, Humour, OC children - Freeform, adult Tiffany
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-27
Updated: 2017-10-27
Packaged: 2019-01-25 06:12:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12524820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shewhoguards/pseuds/shewhoguards
Summary: Before you send your children off into the night it's sometimes wise to give them a few tips first.





	Monster Spotting

**Author's Note:**

  * For [notwisely](https://archiveofourown.org/users/notwisely/gifts).



"And how do we tell the difference between an eldritch horror and someone dressed up as a monster?" Tiffany prompted the small group of children.

A girl stuck her hand up. "Actually looks scary and not in a costume that's too small for him because our mam won't make a new one if he can fit into it?"

"That helps, yes. Or sometimes beautiful, but usually even then, beautiful and frightening. Anything else?"

"Really big teeth?" 

"Sometimes, yes."

"Tries to eat you?"

Tiffany sighed, "That is what we might call a terminal sign, which is to say one you have spotted just a bit too late. Anything you might notice before that?"

A grubby hand waved in the air. "It's gotta be cold, miss! Or snowing!"

"Yes! Well-remembered, Tom. Now.."

"Er, miss. What if it's snowing, and there ain't any eldritch thingys?"

"Then that would be what we usually call 'winter'. Now, can anyone remember what we do when we see an actual monster?"

The answer came in enthusiastic chorus.

"Hit 'em with a pan, miss!"

"Right in the goolies!"

"It gotta be iron or it don't work!"

"Very good. And.. if you see someone dressed up as a monster?" Children weren't so different from Feegles really, and experience had shown her that this follow up question really was needed.

Silence. The children looked at one another helplessly for a moment before one tentatively ventured, "Don't.. hit them with a pan?"

Tiffany breathed a slight silent sigh of relief. "Very good. Now remember, stay together, and if a nice lady appears offering you sweeties, be _really suspicious_ unless she's in costume, okay?"

She was almost certain they would be safe tonight. The secret Feegle she had following each one almost guaranteed it. Still, it never hurt to teach a little self-defence.


End file.
